Sunday, October 30, 2005

lame lyric-cut-and-paste stereotypical post

Just Like Heaven
by The Cure

"Show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream" she said,
"The one that makes me laugh" she said, and threw her arms around my neck.
"Show me how you do it and I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you".

Spinning on that dizzy edge,
I kissed her face and kissed her head,
And dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow.
"Why are you so far away?" she said,
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you, that I'm in love with you".

You, soft and only...
You, lost and lonely...
You, strange as angels dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water,
You're just like a dream.

Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days.
And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes and found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea that stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me.

You, soft and only...
You, lost and lonely...
You, just like heaven...

p/s: BECAUSE! I just saw the movie last nite, don't ask how I got them tickets, and I FEEL like this song these days and NOW you can stop giggling and shut up. Thank You.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

resigned to my fate

it's 5 minutes to 3am, on a wednesday morning. picked up my old habit of sleeping way late, as late as the cock starts to crow. tomorrow marks the aforementioned whole week from my last interview, which had looked so hopeful, yet now seems too good to be true. high pay, near to home, easy enough job? i mean, come on, no one's that lucky.

what's with the interview u ask? choosed to resign my post, it's either that or be terminated. fired. how nice of my old boss to allow me to bow out. gave me the usual i'm-sorry-to-let-you-go stories, i'm-just-doin-my-job and we'll-still-be-friends excuses. i was too numb to respond, let alone cry out unjust! or anything. when in doubt, go with the flow. sure...

nearing a fortnight of loafing about, not bothering to really seek employment elsewhere. i guess i'll start worrying when my savings got carved too much. later. too much of a hassle to put on my thinking hat. phhhtt.

been reading haruki murakami a lot. my god, how bleak can someone's view of life be? so reassuring then, to realize kindred souls do exist. in a weird ironic way, it kindles a litle hope in your already dimming heart.

letting my phil collins and padi be the background music these past weeks don't help too. just can't get by without wallowing in your own melancholy. feel fully, and let go. then move on. one sick, sad carousel. life's like that. learn. u can never learn enough. phil collins and padi. hopeless romantics, pleading losers. damn.

i'll leave you with a quote from murakami then. here;

"entire palette of emotions lost all its color, fading to the meaninglessness of old dreams."

you figure it out for yourself. and when you do, my heart goes out to you. boo hoo. heh.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

birth of a boy

just back from the hospital, where i spent the nite accompanying my friend who's wife just delivered a healthy baby boy. all in all, it was quite a quick delivery, not so much trouble for their first experience. let's hope being a dad change his view of the world for the better eh? and oh, i promise i'll try to be the best godfather he could have, ok?

Sunday, May 15, 2005

pumped up and raring to go

went to a friend's (and ex-boss) suprise birthday party last saturday. and the next day, the long awaited bbq by a recently married and expecting close friend. it was like, a quite busy weekend. it almost felt like old times, when we all just kinda hang out together a lot. and do stuffs, and go places. felt almost like home :) but these days, a lot of us has gotten married, expecting their firstborn and generally running along with their own lives. boy, do age really creep up on you huh? after the bbq, when everyone's gone we dipped in the small pool at his home. well, they dipped while i splashed and did small laps. they didn't know how to swim, heh. felt good, to actually (kinda) really exercise, and do sports. feeling nostalgic i kinda misses my good old boarding school times, especially my rugby playing days. i'm gonna do more now, to fill my routinely boring weekends. go to the gym, swim, basketball, tennis, squash, futsal (now that's kinda trendy, don't you think? hehe) and *gasp* even jogging! haha. we'll see if it's gonna be a reality or just another short-lived fantasy.

emailed my big boss for information on our mail server. got it, and some. he told me to step up production. go figure. work's fine, now that my department got more staffs. but next week the new warehouse manager from head office in phoenix's gonna come, and he's our 40s woman manager's own son! (not the one who's one part of the wwe's hardy boys) we'll see how it's gonna turn up then.

got a sore right forearm, must be from fanning too hard to man the bbq grills. ouch!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

chasing the unknown dragon

cut myself at work today. happened just like how it usually does, unnoticed. it was quite a wound, i could see my left-hand-ring-finger-knuckle's tendon. it was white. poked at it to make sure it's not bone at first. managed to get 3 stitches for it. ouch. but the the thing is, right before the doc sutures it, he gave me a local anesthetic (lidocaine) in a very small dose (or so he says) and my body kinda reacted. violently. i started to sweat too much, my focus's gone, my basic motor skills went haywire and my thoughts flew all over the place. but somehow i was still coherent enough to hold a conversation. and yes, i am aware of it, of everything (not the details though) thru out the whole episode. wow. it was like, surreal. like, i'm there physically, but i'm kinda feeling disassociated from my own body. is this how them junkies feels like when they get high? i hated it. made me lose absolute control. of myself. i was like that for a bit more than an hour, then it thankfully started to taper off. they even had to put me in a wheel-chair to let me rest on a bed. felt liked an invalid, sheesh. somehow the doc's confident enough to tell me that it's not an allergic reaction on my part due to the anesthetic (read: drug) and said that it's more likely that i lost it when i saw a lot of blood plus the fact that i'm in stress. somehow, i did't buy it. well , i'm entitled to a second opinion don't i? heh. but anyway, they patched and took care of me good and now i'm left with several packets of medications and a bandaged left fist. hopefully the stitch will be taken out in about a week. all in all, i think it was great fun. did i tell u that this is my first time getting stitched?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

burning desire

right at the start of my daily, routine, dreary sloughing thru after-work-hours traffic i noticed somethings;

a mushroom of black clouds, rising fast,
stalled traffic on the opposing lane,
lame oblivious faces turns to curious head-jerking, even exiting their stalled vehicles,
saw the roaring fire first, then felt the heat waves.
a passenger van, used as a school bus perhaps?
is on fire, from an explosion, combusting,
flames licking the gas leaking, spreading on the asphalt,
and as i pass, heard crackles and pops, bordering dangerously on another explosion.
big red firetruck, blocking my own lane,
made my way thru pulled-over crowd and eager-eyed drivers,
watching the firemen hopping and cursing the unrelenting fire,
i sped off as soon as i can. what's the use of holding up traffic?

ah. this ...bout of sickness i'm having. it's...sickening (excuse my pun) i had diarrhea, flu, cold, sleep disorder and bodily discomforts. it's been like this for about a week now. i remember in my younger days, whatever mild ailments would taper off right after i get a good night sleep, and wake up fully rested. this i gotta get used too, i guess.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

dreary drought

yesterday i got mc. unavoidable circumstances;

around 8 i was gearing up for work,
around 9 i ended up at the clinic,
around 10 i thought, ah the hell with doc's order,
and went for a big breakfast.
at noon a friend asked to join him for lunch,
i said hey, i'll take my meds AFTER lunch,
after lunch well, i got sleepy...
now here i am.

today work was ok. managed to get a lot done. but, tomorrow's maulidur rasul, plus we got leave for friday. means i'll be off work for hmm, 4 days. 4 frickin days of dreary, meaningless do-nothings lazing about. god damn. i better get a move on, plan on, rite?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

break from monotony

WOW. the breakers sure are great performers. what could i say, they're an all vocal band singing and performing a capella and interacts with the audience a lot. like, it was an interactive experience. there's one who handles the bass part, plus our own adam farouk who handles the percussion parts, BEATBOX style! there's even a guy who could do wind instruments, i kid u not. they mostly did popular vocal songs, they even did billie jean. with MJ's moves. it was hilarious! heh. and what energy...they just keep on going. they even caved in for 2 encores. great show... plus i was with great company too ;)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

bounty from the sky

big boss flight got delayed. so, he's just in today. a bit jumpy, coz a couple of investors are coming in to the warehouse. turns out to be to be 2 tall, lanky europian guys who look too much like male models. heh. the cursory inspection was ok, though the big boss literally turned the warehouse upside down to make it all tidy and nice for them. a new tagging system using barcodes will be implemented tomorrow. more work for me then.

on another note, got kinda shot-down when i kiddingly asked for her hand. it wasn't that bad, coz i kinda knew the answer already. well, a friend said i deserved someone better. figures. but things are looking up with another. she turns up out of the blue, and i ended up getting 2 tickets for the breakers equinox tour in kiara for saturday nite. i just know it'll be a great evening for both of us. wish me luck eh?

the well's drying up, fast. let's hope tomorrow's deal will go through, and fill the well a bit till my next paycheck. feels like i got shot down from the sky, fell down cushioned by newly fallen snow, then a gift from heaven appear in my lap. seems like it. well, u gotta count your blessings, rite?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

bad stirrings

went to uptown with friends and their wives. felt like an island, in a sea of couples. you know the feeling. shrugged it off, appreciate the quality time with best friends but the cone of mango tango REALLY doesn't agree with the oily crazy henry's fried rice. god damn it, i'm nursing a terrible tummy ache. tomorrow's a big day, big boss from phoenix's coming in. probably for good. doing fine reading up on my management books. i got ideas, and i'll do my best :)

Monday, April 11, 2005

First Post! "Hello World!"

Hey. i don't know what came over me, that i opened up this account on blogger. Getting on the trend-bus, somewhere to vent, somewhere u can vent (heh). So, go on then. I'll get back to you on that. Chiow.