it's 5 minutes to 3am, on a wednesday morning. picked up my old habit of sleeping way late, as late as the cock starts to crow. tomorrow marks the aforementioned whole week from my last interview, which had looked so hopeful, yet now seems too good to be true. high pay, near to home, easy enough job? i mean, come on, no one's that lucky.
what's with the interview u ask? choosed to resign my post, it's either that or be terminated. fired. how nice of my old boss to allow me to bow out. gave me the usual i'm-sorry-to-let-you-go stories, i'm-just-doin-my-job and we'll-still-be-friends excuses. i was too numb to respond, let alone cry out unjust! or anything. when in doubt, go with the flow. sure...
nearing a fortnight of loafing about, not bothering to really seek employment elsewhere. i guess i'll start worrying when my savings got carved too much. later. too much of a hassle to put on my thinking hat. phhhtt.
been reading haruki murakami a lot. my god, how bleak can someone's view of life be? so reassuring then, to realize kindred souls do exist. in a weird ironic way, it kindles a litle hope in your already dimming heart.
letting my phil collins and padi be the background music these past weeks don't help too. just can't get by without wallowing in your own melancholy. feel fully, and let go. then move on. one sick, sad carousel. life's like that. learn. u can never learn enough. phil collins and padi. hopeless romantics, pleading losers. damn.
i'll leave you with a quote from murakami then. here;
"entire palette of emotions lost all its color, fading to the meaninglessness of old dreams."
you figure it out for yourself. and when you do, my heart goes out to you. boo hoo. heh.
